Sunak Sunak what are you playing at

Flights to Rwanda full of refugees frightened for their lives.

Sent to a destination of your choice not theirs

Don’t worry the shooting of refugees in 2018 can never happen again! Do you really believe that?

Has Rwanda become your holiday destination of choice?

I don’t think anyone would believe that not even you.

The Berber camp was chaotic but interesting and the Berbers were very nice in fact they were the nicest people we met in Tunisia.They gave us some sort of traditional gown to put on i think they were called souks and helped us on to the camels, which were sort of prone so not hard to get seated but they then get up back legs first. This was a bit disconcerting as you suddenly feel like you are going to slide onto their neck. Once they got up we were led into the desert which was very pleasant. The motion of a walking camel is much more comfortable and relaxing than a horse in my opinion. We stopped after a while to watch the sun set and have a cold drink then remounted for the return journey. This is when the accident happened a young Berber probably early teens was standing on his camel when it bucked and skittered sideways colliding with the camel my girlfriend was riding which then also got spooked and she fell off landing on her back.
It was then that all hell broke loose she was shouting that she was in agony camels were running free and the Berbers were trying their best to sort things out, after a cursory examination they decided to send someone to their camp to get a horse drawn cart because she could not walk out of the desert. When we got to the camp her and I were transferred to an ambulance and taken to the local hospital. On arrival we were rather shocked to see the state of it inside the floor was covered in about a half inch of sand. They decided to xray her back. She was put onto the xray machine in severe pain but the machine refused to work, probably full of sand.They then decided to send us to the regional hospital so back into the ambulance which I’m sure would not have passed a UK MOT. On the journey she complained that something was hurting her back. On inspection it seemed that the stretcher had metal bars running across the stretcher that were not padded so we’re adding to the pain.

To be continued

We had booked a trip to the Sahara with a stop at el Jeb a Roman amphitheatre when we got there we were told to walk straight to the entrance and not stop.

This was because the whole place was surrounded by people trying to sell us Roman coins and artefacts and they were very pushy.

When we got inside it was amazing the atmosphere made your skin tingle you could feel the history and almost smell the animals and the people.

After wandering around and taking pictures, we returned to the coach and headed for the Sahara.

I have always been fascinated by deserts so I was really looking forward to this An ambition would be achieved.

After a while in the coach, we stopped at a roadside shack for refreshments I went to see what was on offer and nearly left with nothing, but hunger made me choose a tuna and chilli french stick wrapped in paper I suffered no stomach upset after eating it. We continued on towards the desert stopping to visit a troglodyte home occupied by a very old lady with startling red hair coloured with natural henna.

We passed through an oasis which was not as I expected it was so big and looked very inhospitable shortly after this we arrived at the Berber camp in the desert from where we would embark on our camel ride to see the sunset over the Sahara.

54 years of working has changed my attitude to working

My time off gives me more pleasure than I was aware

I think I would rather be at home than anywhere 

Walking the dog or pottering in the garden without care

Cycling into town for lunch is not unusual or rare

Thirty years of working in care is probably enough

I think I need to start thinking about my own self-care

It’s just a case of knowing when enough is enough

There are a lot of things to consider such as money

What would I do with all of the time I would have at my disposal?

Would I be able to adjust to a life without work?

Would I find a new routine and what would it look like?

Stepping into the unknown is almost always a cause for concern

Retirement is probably inevitable at some time

I just don’t know when will be the right time for me

I think I will have to capitulate and give it more thought

I took someone to the zoo this week

At all of the creatures we did peek

They sat and looked back at us

From their cages, they just stared blankly

The visit left me feeling very sad for the cruelty of their incarceration

They had committed no crime yet they were still held against their will

Why? For the amusement of the visitors and profits of the owners

Tormented by being able to see what freedom looked like

Birds in cages too small for them to fly in

Sealions in an area of water like a large fishpond

Penguins in an area devoid of any interest as they stood and looked despairingly

Apes that had nothing to do but watch the gawping visitors

For me, the only thing that brightened a sad day was a wild treecreeper 

Climbing a tree in a paddock literally as free as a bird

This is not the first time I have been saddened by a zoo visit

But I have decided I will not visit a zoo again and support these abominations

I’m glad Elons rocket exploded,

I don’t think we need to go to other planets

Mars is not going to feed our starving people

It won’t give shelter to our homeless

It won’t make our society fairer for all

It won’t stop the war in Ukraine 

It won’t bring about peace in the world

It won’t stop global warming in fact the opposite

Why do we want to go and ruin another planet?

When we have not finished ruining this one

We still need to drive the temperature up

To make it uninhabitable for all but the super-rich

We have lots of creatures yet to be driven to extinction

Enough to keep us busy for another fifty years

Leaving behind a barren planet fit for no one 

Perhaps Elon could do something more useful with his billions

As Russia attacks its neighbour bringing death and destruction

On the whim of its lunatic leader’s instruction

It seems to want to destroy all in its path including its civilian population

Why, we ask, only one man knows for sure his people are being lied to?

Fed misinformation by the state broadcasters who are not allowed to tell the truth

Women and children flee from the missile and air attacks that destroy their homes

Old people who cannot leave are dying or being killed, what can we do?

Send money to help the displaced send food and clothing for those that have lost everything

Our government sends arms and weaponry along with many other countries

People offering homes to refugees when they can get through the bureaucracy

NATO cannot help for fear of triggering World War Three and the use of nuclear weapons

Twenty-five per cent of the population of the earth would be killed in the initial strikes of nuclear weapons

It stops us from using them, but would it stop Putin, he probably doesn’t care?

You cannot reason with a madman all we can hope is that his rather hopeless army gets beaten

And then hopefully Ukraine and the rest of the world can spend the next couple of decades trying to rebuild

The next day it was off to the local marina which had a market or souk bought some stuff including a leather holdall which I still have and use. It was not as interesting as I had hoped it would be lots of tat made for the tourist market. On return we went to the beach, which was nice but not being a sunbather, it was not long before I got bored sea and sand as far as the eye could see.

Soon a fat Arab came walking along the beach with a few rugs over his arm he was trying to sell them to anyone on the beach and they were mass-produced rubbish. Unfortunately, my girlfriend asked how much they were a big mistake he was asking some stupid figure which was instantly rejected. This led to a drawn-out conversation or haggle the price came down to about a tenth and she paid. Firstly, in money and by him sneaking a feel of her breast. All for a rug that was probably mass-produced in China or India. I have to say that the locals around the town of souse were not the most likeable people I met in Tunisia. But the Berba that we met in the Sahara were friendly and open

To be continued

.

A holiday in Tunisia seemed just what I needed

A getaway to see places new and feel the sun on my back

All the jabs recommended were done my secret stash of cash was raided

And then Tunisia here we come via Gatwick almost the worst part of the journey

Eventually, we took off and I settled in for the flight, not something I enjoy

As we approached the airport, I could see the runway through the cockpit window

I could also see the stewardess sitting on the arm of the pilot’s seat

We had dived down like a Stuka on a bombing run and overshot the runway

He went round again and this time he managed to land to the detriment of my ears

I was relieved to be on the ground but the pain in my ears was quite severe

One of the other passengers asked if I had seen what happened as he was going to report it

Apparently, the CAA don’t like stewardesses sitting on the pilot’s chair arm when landing

Eventually, after a bus ride, we arrived at the hotel which was almost on the beach

Time for a wander round to get the lie of the land and find the bar and restaurant

Never having travelled much it was all very interesting and not as warm in the evening as expected

We also found out where all the MOT failures end up and become taxis

The next day a trip to the local town was an eyeopener the poverty and police with rifles

People selling individual cigarettes children running up to beg for money

The Arab that accosted us to buy my girlfriend I should have taken the money he would be sorry

Back to the hotel in another wrecked Peugeot at least they weren’t expensive

To be continued

I have no memories of early chidhood friendships only some fondness for some relatives

Standing on the outside of the circle looking in but never belonging inside the rim

Not knowing the rules so never being sure what to do to fit in

A mother who i know loved me but had been orphaned at ten doing the best that she could with the help of Dr Spocks book on child rearing

A father that had learned from a mother with a heart as cold as flint, so a childhood with out hugs or kisses or encouraging words

I neither want or need anyones sypathy for my childhood it just was as it was

It has made me what i am today’a slightly fucked up old man

But with some self analysis and conversations with my late brother i know what my failings are and why i am what i am

A not great father to my kids and probably a not great husband partner call it what you will

I do think that on reflection i am doing the best i can and trying to be a better me

I fail often and for that i have sadness but some things i cannot change

I will carry on trying to be a nicer me less of a loner more of we

I accept that a lot of my failures will never be righted and i will carry to my grave

I have no complaint against my parents like me they did their best

Its time to face up to a basic fact of our new life

Don’t expect to see a doctor unless you’re prepared to pay or want to talk to them on the phone

Don’t expect to see a dentist unless you are in absolute agony

Don’t expect to see an optician in a timely manner two months wait

Don’t expect to see a physiotherapist they are virtual now online only

Our government said the NHS is in safe hands just like a cricketer fielding in boxing gloves

I can go and see a doctor today if I pay forty-nine pounds, but I can’t see my own

Is this privatisation by stealth I really don’t know all I do know is that many people will die?

Through ailments being missed, you can’t tell by phone if someone is suffering

Surely, it’s the visual clues that alert them to ailments that the patient isn’t even aware of

My eye test is overdue by eleven months because the opticians are not sending out reminders

Physio is done by filling in an online form and then you get an email attachment with exercises to try

I haven’t been offered a video call I suppose because they don’t want us to know they are working from home

My tooth broke last night but I don’t suppose ill get an appointment any time soon I’m not in agony yet alone absolute agony

Oh well at least I’ve got Dr Google in case I need an emergency appendectomy I can watch a video and do it myself

It creeps in through any gap a window on the latch

A door not fully closed its cold fingers seeping in

It’s not freezing, mild for the time of year they say

But as the darkness closes in, by four pm the cold encroaches

A day of activity dog walks clearing the garden activity that keeps us warm

As the winter sun sets, we retreat indoors turn the thermostat up

Maybe soon it will be time to light an evening fire as we watch tv

The comforting glow gives a feeling of wellbeing as we stare into the flames

Winter marches on an inevitable force that cannot be controlled only accepted

We are fortunate we have the technology and the wealth to survive and thrive

We can be comfortable in even the severest of weather that nature throws our way

Pity those that cannot turn up a thermostat huddled in a shack wearing all the clothes they own

Sitting on the Polish border looking at a world of opportunity just yards across a fence

Being soaked by water canons and sprayed by pepper spray and tear gas

In a bid to reach a better life away from fear and repression and poverty

Just a pawn in the sick game that Putin and his puppet Lukashenko are playing                                                                                                                                                          

The meeting is about to begin so many world leaders in one place, Glasgow

COP 26, they will all sit around and devise a plan without argument or malice to save our world

The Chinese won’t be there because they are too busy building new coalfired power stations

And making plans to take back Taiwan who don’t want to be part of China what a surprise

This is a triple purpose threat because they have now upset the Americans and Japanese as well

Probably a good thing they are not going we wouldn’t want to detract from COP 26

The French will be there if they are not too busy capturing our fishing boats and cutting the power cable to Jersey

While at the same time trying to get support from the EU against us to stop us protecting our fishing grounds

India is going to be there they are only producing 70% of their electricity with coal so all good

Australia one of the worlds biggest coal exporters is going and will not put net-zero into law

America will be represented of course they don’t seem to be able to decide whether climate change is happening or not

On the one hand, they are fighting against clean air legislation still digging coal-producing oil but want to be leaders in saving the planet, I do love a V8 though

And then, of course, there is us we are talking a good fight but how well are we really doing we have a lot of old poorly insulated houses, and our new houses are being built with gas boilers for heating

Uptake of new technology is slow because it’s expensive we need more subsidies to help people go green, in the town that I live in there is not one public charging point

You could drive here for a day out but unless you live nearby you can’t drive home

To summarise COP 26 is promoting itself as the answer lets hope the attendees can keep their hands off one another’s throats and not start another war long enough to do something useful.

Death where is your fear you creep around nipping our ankles like a farmers collie dog

It gets to a point when we say oh just shut up, I’ve heard your stupid threats and sometimes I was scared!

But now I don’t care you can threaten me with covid, cancer, flu or the common cold or maybe a car crash

You can take your scythe and put them where the sun doesn’t shine, you’ve lost your edge

I’ve had my fun I’ve done the things I should have done and several I shouldn’t

I’ve married had children I’m proud of my only wish is that they become proud of one another

I’ve cohabited badly and I’ve cohabited very well I have no regrets my life has not been easy but it’s been an education 

Probably an education that’s been wasted on me I have learned many things but are they worth knowing I will probably never know

I will probably not see the end of gas-powered boilers or the failure of battery-powered cars what a shame

I will surely not see this country levelled up and everyone having all that they need or desire

I will probably see a world that is struggling to contain a virus that has the potential to destroy our civilisation

Does that make me sad? I suppose it does I worry for my kids and grandkids but am powerless to protect them

All I can do is try to be a kinder man than the kind man I thought I was before I dive into a hopefully peaceful oblivion

Incompetence can become endemic if it’s left to its own devices

It leads to a culture of poor performance and poor outcomes

It takes us to a place where that is nowhere anyone wants to be

Incompetence leads nowhere except to a tissue of lies to hide itself behind

Some people take their incompetence and wear it like a badge of honour

Hopefully, most people recognise their own incompetence and try to correct it

It’s not hard to ask for advice or seek the training that’s required

Unfortunately, there is no cure for stupid and some turn it into an art form

Wind-powered generation and solar produce less than 50% of our electricity needs. Where does the balance come from nuclear- and gas-powered stations and some imported from France? Is it possible to double the number of wind farms in the time needed to meet our targets? I don’t know but I don’t think so. Can we build nuclear power stations fast enough to meet our targets? I don’t know but I think not.

Energy suppliers going bust because they are not allowed to exceed the fuel cap so lose money on every customer, nine have gone so far, is this sustainable? Diesel and petrol prices going up I suppose logs will be more costly for the lucky ones that have fires or log burners.

We have become dependent on the Russians for our gas. The poison dwarf Putin must be rubbing his hands with glee that he is in control of our energy needs and Europe. As the result of not having a long-term plan for our energy needs we seem to have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. Reducing our gas storage facilities has helped to put our population onto a cliff edge of huge increases for our domestic energy.

On top of prices rising in our shop’s extra taxes and cuts in benefits, for those on fixed incomes pensioners and those on benefits, this is a disaster. The removal of the triple lock on pensions has not helped the increase that they should have got would have met the increased cost of fuel. The increased level of universal credit applied during the pandemic if left in place would have helped to offset these extra costs. Many people will be hoping we have a very mild winter, or they will be having to make hard choices about eating or staying warm. And putting on all your clothes is not the solution to this very real problem.

Stress in older age I don’t understand it

When I was young, I had a couple of dozen reasons to be stressed

I just didn’t seem to know I should have been

Now I shouldn’t be stressed but it seems that I am

Is it down to perspective now if I look forward I see I don’t have long?

Back then when I looked forward, I could see endless possibilities

I had time to put plans into operation and complete

Now I think is it really worth planting a walnut tree I may never see the fruit

Back then I could be reckless because I had time to correct my mistakes

As a young man, I would squander time lying in bed till late

As an old man, I feel pressure to get up earlier because I’m burning daylight

I still have things I want to do that may seem harebrained ideas I want to complete

If only we could combine the unrealistic optimism of youth with the knowledge of experience

As September ends autumn begins

The wind blows the temperature drops

The prospect of dark evenings and dark mornings

Go to work in the dark come home in the dark

As I get older I miss the light more than ever

It’s cosy to sit by an open fire but not compensation enough

Six months of cold and damp weather fills me with dread

No more shirt sleeves just big warm coats

No bad weather only bad clothes the saying goes

Only true to a point bundled up in duck down filled jackets

Muddy shoes that always need cleaning

To a desert dwelling I am leaning

Oh but for the sand in your shoes and in your hair in your toaster and your telly

Ill light the fire and enjoy six months of watching flickering flames

I finished work on Saturday thought I would get diesel as I do about once a fortnight

Oh, dear, I thought I have enough for my shift on Sunday which I did

Finished Monday morning no diesel in Sudbury none in my local garage

None on the way home what a bloody disaster we are trapped in our town

Which to be fair is a nice little town but I need to go to work sometimes

Apparently, I am an essential worker but now I am a none working worker

People in receipt of care will only get support if the carers can walk to them

The government are making visas easier from next month that doesn’t help now

Are eastern Europeans going to be queuing up to come and work only till Xmas

Then get told to leave I don’t think so apparently, they don’t feel welcome

In the meantime, those of us who cannot get public transport to work are screwed

Yet another problem being messed up by the inept reactive government

A situation that should have been addressed two years ago if they had been proactive

I will make some bread kneading should be good for stress and be good to eat

Danish brother-in-law says he is enjoying watching the collapse of society

All we need now is the zombie apocalypse and another lockdown and life will be complete

We all need to go green everyone tells us it’s the only way to save the planet

Get rid of coal stop burning gas heat our homes with electricity

Don’t you dare burn wood you reckless hippy

Can’t afford the electricity put another jumper on

Want to go to work you can’t drive a petrol car, can I use diesel? wash out your mouth

You must use a battery-powered car even if it won’t get you home again

Put it on a non-existent charging point and catch a bus

Live in the countryside you will have to walk get fit save the planet

Buy a hybrid car that is less economical than diesel and looks like it should be in a circus

Buy a mild hybrid that allows the manufacturer to carry on making petrol cars what a con

A nonsense that allows manufacturers to circumnavigate the rules

And is less fuel-efficient than a petrol or diesel car, who made these rules?

We have not got enough electricity to power all our houses and our transport systems

The infrastructure cannot cope the national grid will need an enormous upgrade

Can’t afford a new electric vehicle buy a second hand one for about six grand

Great you may get sixty miles if you don’t use lights heater unplug the clock

We are being sold a crock of shit being lied to and pushed into a corner

Trying to save the world while China builds coal-fired power stations

America still builds cars with seven-litre V8 engines, I want one of those

My Audi will do fifty plus to the gallon I travel in comfort and safety, you save the planet  

When we have all been conned into going electric how will the government recoup the 80% fuel duty

Do you really think charging your car for a fiver will continue, oh so you still believe in Father Christmas?

Hydrogen power is easy to fill up doesn’t take hours produces water doesn’t use precious metals like batteries do

Why not

Are we all dancing to someone else’s dodgy tune?

Running around trying to appease or please like a loon

Hoping to gain some praise or acceptance while losing our self-respect

Our self-worth is diminished in this pointless exercise what else could we expect

Hoping to be valued for who we are is unrealistic optimism over common sense

Expecting to be treated as an equal in this world of inequality is unrealistic beyond reason

Standing up for our rights and fighting for our rights gets us branded as troublemakers

Accept the status quo and be led by those with the power, no thanks I’ve had enough

Every day we hear someone telling us to do this do that next week they will have changed their mind

Buy an electric car oh dear they are too expensive for the poorer in society, they will have to walk

No more gas boilers to heat our homes more expensive electric boilers more old people will die

We need to be levelling up as they call it but no it’s a catchphrase trotted out meaninglessly

We should know you can’t get very rich unless you have very poor people to exploit

The richer in society can go green they can afford the higher bills to heat their homes

They can buy the best electric cars with the longest range put solar panels on their roof

Sadly it seems that global warming is going to speed up levelling down while the waters rise

I remember the Russians being defeated by Afghanistan I remember when we went into Afghanistan, and I don’t understand why things have turned so bad. I am an avid listener and watcher of news, so I suppose I am as well informed as most ordinary people. So why is there such a lack of knowledge about how and why the resurgence of the Taliban has happened so quickly?

All we see on news now is terrified people trying to get out of their own country because they are being ruled by tyrants that rely on fear to keep control. Some parallels with several other countries in the world including some alleged democracies in the west. Fear is the tool most often used to control the populations and allow these people to remain in power.

I have vivid memories of watching the news of the Vietnam war eating my dinner as filmed footage showed an American soldier throwing a hand grenade into a Vietnamese machine gun post and seeing limbs being thrown into the air by the blast. It was so unreal to me as a child, but the image has stayed with me for about 55 years. I suppose it could be called a mental scar I have no idea, but it gave me a feeling on reflection as an adult of the awful reality of war.

It seems that there is only one area that has an effective resistance movement that the Taliban have not been able to defeat. Why is this surely those that don’t want to live under the rule of the Taliban would form some sort of opposition? There seems to be no shortage of weapons in the country, and someone shot with a thirty year old gun is just as dead as someone shot with a new one. Perhaps the country’s that are pulling out should be promoting some sort of rebellion amongst the population. And helping them to help themselves as most seem to be too frightened to resist. It seems to be falling to the Panjshir valley region to lead the resistance movement perhaps support for them will be the only hope for Afghanistan. And its beleaguered population.

Of course, there will be many who will welcome the return of the Taliban and the subjugation of its women but not all. They have had twenty years of educating the young and these are the people who will need to be challenging the return to what appears to the west as the dark ages.

The rain starts at 0730and continues to annoy

The crew set up regardless of getting wet

They run through sound checks check out the tannoy

A few hardy types appear in plastic ponchos

The performers put on a brave face attempt to entertain

A few minutes of sunshine then a continuation of rain

For the organisers, I can only feel their pain

I might walk over to have a look despite the rain

The punk band bash out a few tunes regardless

Regardless of the rain and lack of audience

Living within earshot of the green we can listen at home

Sitting in the dry or a brief foray two minutes’ walk and we are there

Only when the rain eases off I’m a Fairweather festival goer

The punk band carry on we get there to see the end of their set a good local band

The clouds thin and a weak sun breaks through the crowd swells

And all in all a good weekend is had by all

Why do we live in a world without compassion?

Our world is full of religious groups of every type

Why does religion not make our world a nicer place to live?

Our view of religion seems to be what we believe should achieve total domination

Why are religions so arrogant to think they are always right?

Our creator if it exists can only be one so all the rest are wrong

Why can’t they see this and be a bit more realistic?

Why cant they accept that they may have bet on the wrong horse?

Our religious leaders must be stupid or blinkered

A dog is just a dog except when its your dog then it becomes special

Your dog has special skills talents that may be for good or bad

Your dog will know how you are feeling and react accordingly

A dog knows when you are sad or happy and will comfort or share your joy

A dog is not just a dog but a friend for life a loyal companion that sees your soul

Your dog knows you better than most of your human friends and family

Your dog watches your every move predicts what’s happening next

A dog knows if you are going out and if you are going without them

A dog is just a dog but loves you without conditions or preconceptions

Your dog is loyal and will do its best to please you and protect you

Your dog is a dog that has retained its connection with the natural world

A dog knows when you are nearly home whether walking or driving

A dog knows when death is near, I don’t know how but I have seen it

Your dog is capable of so much more than we expect or want

Your dog wants to be your best friend and a member of your pack

A dog knows how you feel about it and responds accordingly, love your dog

We met several years ago at work we had time to have long chats

As we chatted we found shared interests sport, cars, and work

We also shared an interest in writing poetry and prose

As it happened some childhood memories in common

A taste for good lunches and scotch whiskey

In twenty thirteen I lost my Dad and my older brother

You were one that helped me through that awful year

Your calm reassurance and friendship helped to get me through

When you lost both parents I hope I helped you too

Your wife becoming ill hit you hard I could tell from our phone calls.

I knew that you were struggling with the treatment

And the possible awful outcome that filled you with dread

When the awful day came, and your wife lost her fight you needed help.

Your son and daughter were great them and their husbands and wives

You praised them often they supported you in all the ways they could

Your whole family did all they could I tried my best by calling you often

I knew how difficult you found your life with its many trials and tribulations

All the things that your wife took in her stride seemed to cause you stress.

Lockdown stopped you from getting away for a little respite

I miss you mate and hope you are together again and your deep sadness is gone

We start the day bright and sunny.

On the beach its warm and hazy.

Back to the site and thunder rolling in.

Then its rain pelting down on the awning it makes such a din.

Slowly the rain deceases becomes a mere trickle fresh and warm its pleasant for a while.

The water drops on the roof is pleasant for a while.

Walk the dogs late at night its an eery fog all the way.

The plants and trees seem to glow in my torches light.

Shining bright almost white.

Its only water droplets sticking to the leaves.

But the way it looks makes you think of vagabonds and thieves.

As my mind trawls through its memory banks, it finds golden nuggets that shine like a diamond in a goat’s arse. Like being held upside down by my ankles by my auntie Daphne on her doorstep as she slapped me on my back to dislodge a sugar-coated pineapple chunk stuck in my throat. Like having to go by bus to the Doctors because I had zipped my foreskin into my trousers, my god that was painful especially when the doctor said he would have to undo the zip. Learning to jive when I was fifty put a smile on my face and continues to do so every time, we have a jive.

Play fighting with Charlie the Bichon he could be such fun he always seemed happy to play jumping on my chest if I lay on the sofa and growling and grabbing my hands in his mouth but never causing pain, he knew it was a game.

Seeing my son for the first time not allowed to see him born, getting the nurse to take all his clothes of so I could count his fingers and toes. A round faced little cherub with a mop of curly hair. As naughty as Charlie, he even bit me once or twice until I bit him back and then he stopped.

My childhood pet called Prince who helped me get over my fear of dogs he was a prince fearless but totally loyal to me and my family, a boy’s best friend who came to an unfortunate end killed by an accidental shot from my dad’s gun dad gave away his gun after this he was so upset.

Seeing my daughter born different hospital more enlightened staff I almost missed the event because they told me to go and get a cup of tea I came back just in time.

My Ariel leader motorbike which I swopped  my lovely scooter for, because I wanted more speed and power I thrashed it around I wish I still had it, it was the only bike I didn’t fall off.

I’m sitting in the garden seething.

The sun is shining its warm and bright.

Surrounded by the beautiful flowers we have grown.

Then it starts the amplified drums and guitars

It’s a pleasant Sunday afternoon ruined.

Its band practice in a nearby garden

Total disregard for all their neighbours

An overwhelming sense of entitlement

And to hell with everyone else

Chapel road has become selfish central

On an evening warm and sultry

Moving to a rhythm not desultory

Feelings of pleasure and lust

Keeping these in check but only just

Offering a lift home to prolong the feelings.

Hoping that the spark is reciprocated.

Looking for a common ground to build on.

Can I smoke she said, thank God I thought a smoker?

So now we share a love of dancing and smoking.

My dancing improved slowly; at smoking I was always good.

Progression to a first date a Mersea meal

Later I let you drive my old Volvo love indeed

Flaming June came in with a bang, temperatures soaring.

Oh, the joy of wearing a t-shirt with jeans and sandals and no umbrella.

The forecast says after three days we will get some rain.

Good for the garden and farmers not so good for the rest of us

Im sure we will survive its just a temporary blip.

We all need some respite from the ordeal of of last winter.

Lock down last year was made more bearable by a good long summer.

Lockdown this winter was unbearable because of the cold and the wet.

A holiday is booked we are so looking forward to a more normal year.

Friends round for drinks or a BBQ maybe even a party or two

Family get togethers and meals with friends.

I’ve forgotten how nice that all feels.

As the lockdown slowly releases us from our house arrest and the sun is warming our backs

A more normal life seems to be opening up for us holidays can be booked a future seen

It seems that we have been restrained for years but in reality its more like eighteen months

It has caused our lives to shrink leisure has been home-based health issues put on hold

Could we have carried on for another eighteen months? we could but not happily

Could peoples mental strength carry them? on for some that would be possible but not for all

The less stable in our society has struggled to carry on especially those that had to shield

The fortunate have had family or spouses to support them the less fortunate have been all alone

Some reliant on social care for their daily needs that have been supplied as a bare minimum

Some have depended on the kindness of volunteers to keep them supplied and supported

Some have been supplied with boxes of essentials by the government

Some have been supported by local foodbanks shamefully necessary in our society

As we head towards the end of lockdown the freeze on evictions comes to an end

As some of us rejoice others are losing their homes a new tragedy unfolds

Your world stops when you are sick.

When you can’t go to work because you feel too sick

When you can’t walk your dog because you feel too sick

When you can’t do anything in the garden only look at it because you feel too sick

Then you must justify your reason for being sick

To save your place among the lucky few who are still on the sick pay scheme.

The reward is if you are sick, they take you of the sick pay scheme.

For every pound saved is a pound to be paid to directors’ fees.

Every service user retained in an inappropriate service is a plus in the profit and loss.

Every staff member screwed out of a benefit is a plus.

Every milage claim rejected is a bonus for someone.

Every penny pinched makes the rich a little richer.

The hours that are worked and not paid for are still claimed by someone.

Should some care not be given to the carers that make the profit.

Its not just the money although that is more important to the less well off than the rich.

It’s about genuine appreciation for the efforts that are made not lip service.

In an office it gets to lunch time and a plan is made get away from the desk and phone, you’ve been at work for three and a half hours you have earned a break.

On the shop floor it gets to lunch time you prepare someone else’s lunch no little walk to stretch the legs and take in the peace.

You have been at work for five and a half hours your next break is when your shift finishes maybe twenty-four hours from when you started possibly thirty-six.

We know this when we start this type of work and we do it because we choose to mostly, but carers are not just carers they are humans that would just like to be shown a little respect.

The storm that came in a long awaited rush.

It roared and it shouted its way from the west into the east.

Assembled by nature in a complicated fashion.

Born in the south Atlantic it came steadily on.

It claimed its lives on the uncaring alter of nature.

Giving us a reminder that nature runs the earth.

Before the use of satellites the death toll would have been much worse.

The peaceful use of technology is a blessing not a curse.

Should we blame global warming for the problems it has caused?

Why do we always have to find a place to lay the blame?

Sometimes we need to accept that life has inherent risks.

A life without risk would be dull, and that would be a shame!

Your done they said it’s time for you to leave

I left without a plan to face a world of work

No qualifications or worthwhile experience to help me on my way

Only youthful optimism and a need to earn some pay

I gave up childish things and accepted the fitting of my ball and chain

Tied into the government system my labour for pay, another cog in the machinery of state

Just another revenue stream for an uncaring capitalist system

Contribute your labour and your taxes and they hope you die before your pension is due

You choose a hero to follow according to your rebellious bent

As each year passes your value increases as your contributions increase

The chains that bind grow tighter, the rebellion gets strangled into submission

Passive sublimation of the masses under the guise of democracy

Our ruling classes have never experienced the swish of Madame le guillotine

They carry on trampling and exploiting for the benefit of the few

One day we will realise the French should be admired and not despised

They would not be pissed on by the likes of Cameron, Brown or Blaire, Clegg or Thatcher find me one who was fair!

The global organisations that use songs of love and hope to shackle the masses.

Ritual and hierarchy that reinforce the power they wield.

Secrecy and fear to hide the corruption.

Huge cathedrals and churches decorated with the golden trappings of wealth.

Dressed in gold and silver embroidered robes, but a pig with a gold ring through its nose is still a pig.

Strategies designed to keep the congregation in their place.

Wealth created by rich benefactors’ wise investments and ownership of land.

Collections from the hopeful fees from the groom and the dead.

Money from those scared of eternal damnation and those hoping for redemption or salvation.

Are these modern religions any better than the beliefs of the ancients?

Have they brought about peace in the world and goodwill to all men?

They seem to have killed more than they have saved.

They can’t even agree in their own organisations women’s roles are not equal.

Married priests and abortion all reasons to differ and bicker.

You can all believe what you want just leave me alone.

Keep your special days and festivals that you stole from the pagans.

Witches and warlocks’ priests and priestesses what’s the feminine of Rabbi or Mullah.

What a cruel twist of fate

To be born into a species that is aware of their own mortality

The birds in the garden sing with such joy’ no concept of an end to life

The rabbits in the fields make the most of every day

Only humans spend time contemplating their own demise

Only humans spend time trying to extend their three score years and ten

Wearing a tracksuit and running doesn’t seem like a good use of limited time

Cycling in lycra and going nowhere at speed seems a funny way to put off the inevitable

Going to the gym and bathing in other peoples sweat on the machines, I tried it once it’s not for me.

Yoga is a nice thing to do I haven’t done it but I’m sure its ok whether it promotes longevity I cannot tell.

I think walking the dog is the one I would choose headphones listening to glam rock to distract me from my own demise.

It probably will not delay me taking up residence in the little corner of hell reserved for me.

My uncle Terry went out to fight in WW2 the place I don’t know for certain, but they ran out of ammunition for their weapons and were told to roll the guns over a cliff and then surrender. This they did and he was taken into a camp in Italy. Terry was not keen on this and managed to escape into the Italian countryside, along with another Englishman and a young German deserter. They found themselves in an area of caves, it must have been summer as there was a profusion of wild berries to eat. They used one cave to sleep in or hide and a second one as a toilet, this was much used as their diet consisted of berries and more berries. One day while Terry was in the toilet cave a German patrol came by and spotted his companions. Terry heard a commotion going on and stayed hidden, his companions did not let on that there was a third escapee. He was now alone with no Italian knowledge and with deteriorating health due to the poor diet.

 He decided to seek help from a local family who took him in at great risk to themselves. They fed him and kept him hidden until he was well enough to leave. While making his way across Italy he walked into what he thought was a large force of German soldiers. Strangely they did not approach him he knew that they could shoot him if he ran so he raised his arms and surrendered. Still the soldiers did not speak but just watched as he walked towards them. As he got close to them they all smiled and greeted him as friendly Americans are prone to do he had mistaken them for Germans because of the shape of their helmets.

When he asked why they did not speak they explained that he had just walked through the minefield they were laying, they did not want to shout to him as he may have panicked. They thought it better that he did not know.

The young deserter that he escaped with was shot. This was the second escape that Terry made from the Germans.

Sometime later after the war he was asked about his lack of medals he explained that he was not given any and was told he could apply for them. His response was if they can’t give them to me I’m not going to bloody-well ask for them. He spent a bit of time after the war having a problem adjusting to being home. Then settled down and had a large family he loved his kids and they could do no wrong in his eyes. He taught me to ride a motorbike when I was fourteen while I was holidaying with them. A 1940,s Matchless 350cc single cylinder ex-army despatch riders machine.

He was my mum’s favourite brother I think, and my favourite uncle.

All my heroes are dying, John Lennon murdered in New York

Mamma Cass a sandwich in the toilet

Lou Reed drugs and alcohol

Bowie, cancer but kept discreet and unknown

Johnny Cash old age with some dignity

Woody Guthrie with sadness and humility

Dean Martin with style and coolness till the end

Groucho Marx with wit and humour that didn’t offend.

The loss of a personality is sad, the loss of family is grief.

My mother after years of torment

My father with sadness at not making 100

My brother with shock and anger for me

A loss of a loved one is always a loss but different for every one.

My mother because she loved me her troublesome middle child.

My father because he loved me but didn’t understand me.

My brother because I loved him although he annoyed the hell out of me.

My family perhaps a bit dysfunctional, but they made me who I am.

And I’m glad that I was a member, and I wish I had told them more, how much I loved them.

In 1953 my uncle Carol was living in a cottage on the marshes in Blythburgh Suffolk. As the flood water started rising, he with his wife moved upstairs to safety. This was an exceptional tide and the waters continued to rise. Watching from the bedroom window he watched as his rabbit hutches floated away with the rabbits in them. The rising waters forced them to get onto the roof from where he was able to see his belongings being swept away by the water. Along with his life savings which I think was hidden in amongst clothes in the bedroom. Banks were not popular then as now. Fortunately, he did survive and continued to live in Blythburgh he had one daughter who is the only cousin I know nothing about.  I can only recall meeting my uncle a couple of times I seem to remember us visiting him once at his home in Blythburgh I think it was a bungalow in the village. The flood of 1953 caused havoc along the east coast and there were many deaths. He was lucky to survive.

During world war two my uncle Bill (Crown) used to get asked by my father and others why he did not join the home guard. Bill always just shrugged it off saying I don’t want to join that lot. Running around with broomsticks, they did not have rifles when it was first formed. He continued to field this question until the end of the war and beyond. Although a sociable and friendly man who liked to stop and chat he kept some things to himself. Several years after the end of the war he told my father that he was in an Auxiliary unit. These groups would work as a resistance force in the event that we were invaded. They were trained to use explosives, to kill silently, and to use traditional weapons. The idea was to make life difficult for the invaders by blowing up trains bridges vehicles and generally make life as hard as could be. They were a group that had the skills to live of the land so did not necessarily need a base. It seems that most of the families of these men were not aware of what they were doing I have been doing a little research and gained some information and a photograph of my uncles unit taken when it was disbanded.

The morning’s mist that does not clear.

The day that passes without a breath.

A grey calmness has descended on our world.

Enjoy the stillness let it pass to us its calm.

The days are short and the darkness feels too long.

Enjoy the pleasure of long winter evening’s cosy inside.

When spring does arrive it will be more welcome.

After winter slowing down our lives.

Spring speeds up our world bursting into green.

Every day a new treasure appears, to be admired.

We plant and sow to reap the summer fruits.

No point dreading winter relax and enjoy the stillness.

It’s been going on to long, the work life balance is all wrong.

The European Union says forty eight hours is too long, I agree but how many of us have opted out of this clause.

If the wages weren’t so poor the workforce wouldn’t need to work so many hours.

Damaging their family life, relationships, and mental health.

Then to top it all they decide to make us all work for longer, retire at sixty six what dicks.

If you want us to carry on for longer give us an incentive don’t beat us with sticks.

Free train travel, vouchers for whisky and fags, discounts on Louis Vuitton bags.

Oh dear no if you do that I will retire early, ok let me lay down so the government can beat me with a stick.

On the journey down from the clouds.

Through the rain that envelopes like a shroud.

Down towards the tarmac ribbon.

Scanning for the meat feast it provides,

With his unblinking eye small creatures and carrion he can spy.

Armed with a fearsome beak and talons.

He soars above the victim he has chosen.

This will be a day of terror as he swoops down to kill.

Our buzzard population is growing and spreading.

The carriage ways give them a useful source of food.

They can travel down the A14 picking up carrion as they go.

They’ve already reached Bury and Ipswich isn’t far to go.

Huge birds with fifty inches of wing span.

A welcome site for us but not for the small mammals they eat.

Our smaller birds are getting scarcer.

But our biggest get bolder.

Walking with the dog along the greening hedgerows

The spring sunshine bringing life back to our world

Drying out the ground that didn’t get frozen or a covering of snow

Now the trees are coming into life their leaves unfurling

The days grow longer more hours to spend in the garden

Beach hut cleaned and repaired ready for the long summer days

Caravan uncovered plans being made for holidays

Winter clothes put away waterproofs we will still be needing.

No more bundling up in layers of clothes to keep out the chill

Shorts and a t shirt will do perfectly well

Our garden will become oh so hot we will have to retreat to the beach hut

There we will find the pleasantest sea breeze oh joy.

I can’t be like John cooper Clark.

I’m not northern, I can’t say bastard and sound like I mean it.

I come from Suffolk and my accent is soft.

I come from Suffolk so I must be a bit daft.

I might get red glasses as an homage.

I might get red glasses because my eyesight is shite.

I can’t be like John cooper Clark.

Cause I just can’t talk that fast.

The sword of Damocles hangs over my head

Hanging by a tiny shredded thread

It swings back and forth and from left to right

It’s keeping me awake at night

When it falls will it be the end

It could be something we could mend

I’m bloody sick of waiting my mind is starting to bend

I think I’ll go to Sizewewell its somewhere I feel safe

We met by a chance a friendly word, a casual glance

Second meeting not so fleeting, a time and place was set

We meet and seem to hit it off, the lies start we didn’t stand a chance

Both separated from our spouses the lies that destroy were not evident yet

A year of madness was started, kids driven mad by a delinquent dad

Dad driven mad by someone else’s delinquent wife

I didn’t complain it was fun for a while

The destructive pace was not sustainable, destroyed my life

Suicidal threats and games beyond my comprehension

Everyday spent in a state of enhanced apprehension

Eventually the tension took its toll

I snapped and took her back to a husband who said I don’t want her

Too bad I said as I handed him the bin bags of his life

While a train wreck of a wife went back to her old life

I walked away and was happy for the fun, but the world isn’t fair for the meek

I moved on and was glad of the lesson I had learned, life is not a game for the weak